I Hate Exercising

Spoiler alert: this is just gonna be a rant about why I hate exercising.

I hate exercising. I am all about health and if you’re into it, fitness, but I really really hate working out. It’s boring. I love playing sports (sort of), and like dancing and/or doing things like Zumba, but I absolutely hate going to the gym to run in place and pick up heavy things. It’s mind numbingly boring. I wish it wasn’t a socially encouraged thing that we subject ourselves to.

Let me tell you what I do at the gym. First, I take about 3 hours to convince myself to go. If that is successful, I take about another hour to get ready. The only thing I like about working out is the clothes. I love workout clothes. They’re comfortable, and if you can afford them, they’re cute. I love looking like someone who goes to the gym a lot. I think that’s a really cute look, and you really look like you have your life together if it looks like you enjoy working out and can afford Lululemon (I can’t.)

Affording cute workout clothes was a big deal for me. All of high school, I wore like my dad’s old basketball shorts and random t-shirts to the gym when I went to softball workouts and I felt like such a slob. Granted I went to a yuppie private school where the athletes were elitist jocks, the worst kind of jocks. You were a total scrub if you didn’t have brightly colored Nikes and matching spandex. The ultimate status symbol, of course, were Nike mid-calves. You all know what I’m talking about. Black socks, that come about 3 inches about the ankle, and have white swooshes on the sides. If you didn’t wear them you were irrelevant. The typical girl in my high school weight room would be wearing: brightly colored (probably custom) Nikes, preferably matching NikePro spandex under coordinated NikePro running shorts, and a white Fruit of the Loom v-neck men’s undershirt. I kid you not, every girl is in this same outfit or a variation of it. I loved this look. I wanted this look, but I couldn’t afford it and there was no way in hell my mom would’ve bought me $80 running shoes or $12/pair socks.

Eventually I figured out how to cheat the system. Wal Mart picked up on the trends, and their athletic wear line started to feature shorts that resembled, almost identically, the NikePro shorts and spandex for around $6/pair. I made out like bandit. I bought a pack of t-shirts, some Hanes mid-calf socks at around $0.50/pair, and matched some spandex and shorts. I finally had “the look.” I never felt more accomplished. By senior year, I had my own job, so I broke my bank on my first pair of Nike running shoes, and I had arrived. All this, and I did not like working out even a little more.

Now I’m in college. I go to Sarah Lawrence, which is a tiny liberal arts school in Yonkers, New York. Athletics here is like an afterthought. We have sports, and just became an NCAA Divison III competitor, and I am continuing my softball career here. There are people here that are athletes, but it’s nothing like high school. I went to a Zumba class in my first week here, in my Nike sneakers, Nike mid-calves, Wal Mart knock-off shorts, spandex, and my white v-neck, and I felt judged. Everyone else was pretty much naked, in tiny dancer shorts or just spandex, but they looked nothing like me. Maybe it was because it was a dance class, and not a weight-room, but I was mortified. Okay, it wasn’t that big a deal, but I’m pretty pissed.

Working out is all about a look. Okay, for some people it’s about health, but for me it’s about a look. I either want to look like I work out in my body shape or my clothes, and it’s definitely not gonna be my body shape at this point, so it has to be my clothes. And here, no one cares. I guess that’s good for me, but I’m pretty salty I put in so much effort for nothing.

Whatever, I hate working out.



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