Dear Gay Men Who Say Things About Their Nonexistent Uteruses,
I understand it is hard to be a gay man. It’s getting better on a global scale, sort of. Slowly but surely. I understand some of you have families who shun you or live in states where you don’t have rights. I understand you face constant discrimination and prejudice, and I agree with you, it is just not fair.
However, this does not mean you have a uterus.
I say this because I am a woman, and I do, in fact, have a uterus. I say this because the other day, while looking at an adorable video of my perfect niece, my perfectly flamboyant gay friend, exclaims, “Oh my uterus!” Listen, you don’t nor will you ever have a uterus. You have a lot of things: effeminate mannerisms, a queer little swish when you walk, and probably a passion for Lady Gaga. But you do not have the uterus.
I won’t go into comparisons between how hard it is to be a woman vs. how hard it is to be a gay man, because I don’t know that one is exponentially harder than the other, but do not try to take away my pain because of a “cuteness overload.”
First of all, MY uterus is not affected by pictures of puppies or baby elephants. MY uterus does not swoon at the sight of Harry Styles. MY uterus does not flutter when it “becomes emotional” because frankly, MY uterus doesn’t have emotions, and if it did it would only have one and it would without a doubt be RAGE.
MY uterus squeezes and contracts once a month if I decide hey I’m not even 19 I don’t need a baby. MY uterus causes me sometimes debilitating pain. MY uterus might one day hold a human life and expands to nearly 20x its normal weight. MY uterus is a part of me that defines my womanhood.
So talk to me about marriage equality. Complain about discrimination. Celebrate Katy Perry with me. But DO NOT try to take away the one thing that is solely mine. You do not have a uterus.
Unapologetic Disclaimer: I write this letter lightheartedly and in fun, good spirits. I support and love the gays. However the men still do not have uteruses.